BUD

DAN

Main Dish

Tycoon Chicken Sandwich

This sandwich was good, and the only thing saving it from greatness was my own-short-sighted error. Each sandwich was served with a pickle spear, and when I saw how remarkably thin-cut they were for diner pickles, I decided they would be excellent on a sandwich. (I say “they” because I used both my own and one that I stole from Dan. Or maybe I traded it with one of our guests in exchange for my tomatoes. Hi dad. Yeah I know you don’t read this.) But while I am a stalwart advocate of pickles as a topper on most any sandwich—the sourness and the crunch pair well with everything—here it just didn’t work out. It was too much sourness and crunch. The Tycoon Chicken Sandwich is sautéed onions, mushrooms, bacon, and melted cheddar, and that should’ve been quite enough. In fact, I think it would’ve rated four and a half burgs if I hadn’t desecrated it.

A slice of American instead of cheddar might have really put it over the top. Say what you will about American cheese—it’s artificial, it’s processed, it comes in filmy wrappers that are difficult to open—but it has a strong flavor that never gets lost in the mix. Anyway, I digress. Good sandwich, no regrets.

Main Dish

Mediterranean Panini

I mayyyybe cheated a little before my diner experience and had some free pasta at work (I’m a sucker for vodka sauce!). Needless to say, I wasn’t as hungry as I normally am during our weekly trip, nor was I as enthusiastic about anything on the menu. Trying to find something nice and light, I settled on a classic: panini with chicken, mozz, portobello mushrooms, and grilled onions. I asked for a side of balsamic vinegar for dipping, which is always a good choice.

Well, it was not great. You know that commercial where the ladies were like “where’s the beef?” Well, that was me in a sexier, more-chickeny version. There was so little chicken on this panini that it should have just been called “stinky onion” panini. WHICH BRINGS ME TO MY NEXT POINT: Stinky Onions. These thinly-sliced onions were really not grilled to the point of carmelization, where they get nice and sweet. Instead, these still had that uncooked onion-stank. My hands smelled like it for a whole day!

As for the other ingredients, the mozzarella was fine, I guess, and the mushrooms? Totally forgot they were even in there until I looked back at the menu. Last time we went, I remember getting a burger that absolutely blew my mind. Clearly there’s potential for a great dish, I just didn’t experience it this time.

Fries

Definitely short on salt, but enough crunchy wedges to get the job done.

Fries

Not much to say. I didn’t really like them. They reminded me of like the kind of fries you get from a bag at ShopRite and put in the oven for a bit before eating your pathetic meal in front of the TV while watching Dawson’s Creek alone. You know, those fries.

Dessert

Tri-Valley Classic Brownie Sundae

This is it. We found it. Shut it down, everyone, the show’s over.

Here’s what happened. First, we knew going into it that they had hot fudge. I think Dan found it on the online menu but I prefer to imagine that she called specifically to ask. Everyone knows that it’s improper for a diner to serve hot fudge, but sometimes you have to break the rules. Second, a brownie with a high FQ (fudgy quotient). Third, spot-on ratio of ice cream to whipped cream to brownie. Fourth, and the cherry on top: a cherry on top. Honestly, I didn’t find the streaks of red maraschino juice dripping down the whipped cream to be terribly appetizing, but maraschino cherries are, of course, my favorite fruit so it was a fair trade. This is, to date, probably my favorite brownie sundae, and I defy Dan to disagree.

I should point out that Tri-Valley seems to specialize in sundaes, which is a fun mix-up from the usual focus on cakes and pies. Next time, put me down for Sandy’s Apple a la Mode (vanilla ice cream with warm apples and cinnamon) or The Nuttiest (maple walnut or butter pecan ice cream with wet walnuts).

Dessert

Tri-Valley Classic Brownie Sundae

Surprising nobody at all, Buddy got a good laugh at “The Nuttiest.” He was the only one.
This sundae was on point. I do disagree with Bud in saying it’s the best we’ve had, but it’s definitely top five. I have very fond memories of Nutley Diner’s Brownie Sundae.

Like Bud said, the surprise addition of hot fudge was probably the most exciting thing to happen to me all week. The brownie was unbelievably fudgy and moist, and most importantly, warm enough to start melting the ice cream. Also, even without us threatening the waiter, it was absolutely COVERED in whipped cream!

I mentioned earlier that I was still kinda stuffed from my ill-advised pasta excursion from earlier, well, I certainly didn’t let that stop me from finishing every last gooey crumb on the plate.

Service

Our server was actually quite good. He was maybe a little inattentive when the drinks got low, but otherwise he was A+. The problem here, though, was the wait time. The wait for food was just unreasonably long. Normally I’d grant the benefit of the doubt, but this time (1) I was very hungry, (2) it was not very crowded, and (3) we had visited this diner in our pre-blog days and the wait on that occasion was egregious. I wouldn’t call it “egregious” this time, but it was definitely longer than it should’ve been. It’s not like we ordered Peking duck.

Service

Absolutely forgettable. This isn’t a bad thing, but our waiter did nothing that made him stand out, good or bad. I guess for being inoffensive and bringing us the right food though, that’s gotta be worth something.

Value

At $11.95, my chicken sandwich was square within the average (though I wouldn’t have argued if it were a buck or two cheaper). But at $8.95, the sundae was simply overpriced. Make no mistake, it was a generous portion and I have no complaints about the quality, but that’s a $6 item, maybe $7 if you want to throw in a second cherry.

Value

This diner continues to impress me with their very reasonable prices. You’re not going to say “Gosh, Nance, we saved so much money eating here. Let’s go buy a boat!” But you ARE going to look at your receipt and go “HM!”.

I do agree with Bud, though, in that our sundae was too costly. When I see expensive desserts, I like to try to calculate the profit margin they made through our consumption. I imagine it must have been up to 100–150% per brownie sundae. Questions about my math? Challenge me in the comments.

Ambience

Tri-Valley elects “family restaurant” rather than “diner,” and I don’t really know the difference between the two labels, because it looked like a diner to me. It’s a little too cramped, but I did enjoy our seat at the big floor-to-ceiling window from where we had a fine view of picturesque Knickerbocker Road.

Ambience

Love the ambience of this place. It absolutely screams “family.” I go in there and I’m like jeez, stop screaming, I get it.

There are children’s drawings (or Buddy’s?) That cover the wall that separates the dining area from the bar/waitstaff area, which is very cute. You can tell that this place thrives off regulars. More than once during the evening did I see the manager approach and banter with a family/customer that they had known for some time. I love that. Returning guests is always a sign of a good restaurant.

I will say that this place does run a bit tiny, so if you get there during one of the more busy times, you’re going to have a bad time waiting to get a seat.

OVERALL

I mentioned that we’ve visited Tri-Valley twice now, once in the B.B. (Before Blog) Era, and that’s no mistake: we were very impressed by the food the first time around, enough to forgive the very long wait. I’m a little less enthusiastic now that I’ve seen that the wait is probably a routine feature, not an anomaly. Nonetheless, on the quality of the product itself, I can give high marks to Tri-Valley. My only recommendation is that you should arrive about a half hour before you actually expect to be hungry.

OVERALL

I’ve got to say, I’m a fan of Tri-Valley. I love the welcoming feeling that you get when you walk in. I don’t love the wait time, but that is probably its only fault.

I suppose when you tout yourself as being a family restaurant, there are certain sacrifices that come with the benefits. You want a warm, welcoming, at-home feeling when you walk in? You want the restaurant owner to remember you and ask about your sick dog? Well, that comes with the cost of a shortage of seating, long wait times, and a very tiny parking lot.

Plus, this is my cousins’ go-to diner. And they LOVE me, so clearly they have good taste.