BUD

DAN

Main Dish

Buffalo Chicken Wrap

Though it’s now much too late, I begin to regret that I haven’t just ordered a buffalo chicken wrap at every single diner down the line since day one. Not only would it permit a truer comparison from diner to diner, but I eat this dish often enough that I don’t think I would suffer terribly. Let this be my opportunity to announce that I’m founding a solo side project, Buffalo Chicken Wrap with Bud but Not Dan. It’ll be like Daryl Hall separating from John Oates to pursue a solo career but then learning that John Oates, though swarthy and mustachioed compared to Daryl Hall’s blond-hair-blue-eye All-American teen idol looks, was actually the true talent in the band. Now that I put it in words, that’s a lot more like me and Dan than I expected.

Anyway, I went on that long tangent because there’s not terribly much to say about this wrap. It was adequate but flawed. The chicken and sauce were good, which really is the foundation of a good buffalo chicken wrap, but I don’t believe there was any blue cheese (appropriate) or even ranch (inappropriate but acceptable). The spicy-and-cool contrast is kind of the whole point of a buffalo chicken dish. They did throw in some mozzarella cheese, which is decidedly not orthodox, but it wasn’t bad. Just not the right match.

Main Dish

Peanut Butter and Banana French Toast

Thank you, Bud, you know how much I love being compared to all things oats.

Funny Bud would remark on how he regrets not ordering the same dish every week, because I was feeling the exact opposite. I was looking at the menu and I was like “how many times could I write about how good mozzarella is on a burger before someone tells me to shove it?” So, against everything I stand for, I decided to order: BREAKFAST.

Let me tell you something, readers: if you’re a fan of, or even have a passing taste, for bananas and peanut butter, do yourselves a favor and have it on French toast. It is truly ambrosia of the middle-class folk like myself. This sandwich was two big fat slices of bread, stuck together by a hearty serving of peanut butter, with delicious slices of banana gracing the top. The menu advertises this sandwich as being drizzled with chocolate syrup, but I decided to go with maple syrup instead.

Overall, I loved it. Though not a lot of diners serve this dish, it’s always one of my favorites to order when I see it. I will say this much though, Tops Diner in Newark (review coming soon) serves this same dish…but better. I don’t know how to describe it, but it’s just better in every way. It is for this reason I’m knocking off a burger for this category.

Fries

I’m surprised that I liked these fries as much as I did given that they were only moderately crunchy. Dan didn’t order fries but I think they’re soft enough that she could have appreciated them just the same.

Fries

I ate one fry off of Bud’s dish cuz that’s all he allowed me. I wasn’t impressed by it, sample size notwithstanding.

Dessert

Brownie Sundae

Rochelle Park’s dessert selection was unreasonably small. To be fair, it’s a smaller diner that’s apparently not as busy as many of our other destinations, so I can’t blame them if they don’t want to keep every variety and permutation of cake, cheesecake, tart, pie, and pastry on tap 24/7. But the only cheesecake was plain. That’s odd.

Despite the dearth of options, there was one very appealing prospect: a remarkably fudgy brownie. We ordered it as a sundae, specified that the brownie should be hot, asked the waitress to just ruin us with whipped cream, inquired about hot fudge (negative), and let it ride. The brownie was, indeed, highly fudgy, though not as much as it looked. Still, it was good. The problem was a poor brownie-to-ice-cream ratio, such that by the end, we were pretty much just eating a brownie with spoons. I find the vanilla ice cream to be downright critical, so the disproportion was a real issue for me.

Dessert

Brownie Sundae

I was very distressed by the lack of strawberry cheesecake on the menu, and I certainly didn’t wanna try the Oreo chocolate cheesecake something or other. So, Bud and I decided to slide into a comfortable and reliable choice with a brownie sundae. It was incredible. Perhaps one of the best brownie sundaes I’ve had at a diner. I asked our waitress to give us whipped cream “as if the world were ending tomorrow” and that she did. Bud thought there shoulda been more ice cream, but I would have been fine with just the fudgiest, warmest brownie absolutely sopped in whipped cream, even if there were no ice cream at all. If you’re a fan of chocolate, you’re going to want to experience this masterpiece.

Service

Our waitress was a terrific young lady who was probably more down for joking than we were. She was very cheery and I liked that. When Dan really emphasized how much whipped cream we wanted (an amount that is frankly irresponsible), she said, oh, you want some brownie with your whipped cream? and we all had a nice chuckle.

The only negative mark is that the food and dessert were a little long to come out, which is less forgivable because it was not very crowded.

Service

Our waitress was a doll. I know how awful customer-facing jobs can be, but this young lady was all smiles and jokes. Most importantly, she was very receptive to helping me achieve the maximum amount of whipped cream consumption for dessert, and I appreciate that.

Value

My wrap with fries, cole slaw, and pickle was $8.45, the dessert was $5.90, and my drink was $1.85 with free refills. Nothing wrong with that.

Value

$7.95 for a monster pb&banana sandwich? No complaints from me. I found this diner to be very fairly priced. They’re like, look, we’re not fancy people, and we don’t charge fancy prices. UNLIKE TICK TOCK.

Ambience

I puzzled over this score for a while because I think my feelings about the place will be heavily dependent on my mood. Friday night was already gloomy and wet, and the interior of Rochelle Park Diner is dim and, dare I say, moodily lit. In the circumstances, I could’ve used warm and cheery, so it didn’t sit right with me. I could easily see in other circumstances that the dark interior would be soothing and mellow—so, take my rating here with a grain of salt.

For what it’s worth, I’ve always thought the exterior is quite nice. It’s a tiny little place on the corner, with neon trim that stops easily short of the obnoxious “HEY I’M A DINER LOOK OVER HERE” aesthetic. (I say “obnoxious” with love, mind you.) And the lawn is so lush. Go ahead, look at the picture.

Ambience

This diner looks like if you were to take a Charlie Brown’s, cut it in half, and not update it for 20 years.

OVERALL

Of the two or three times I’ve visited Rochelle Park Diner, it’s never been terribly crowded, which feels unfair given its quality. It’s not the finest diner I’ve ever visited, and the food didn’t blow me away, and the interior lighting is a bit moody for the sort of homestyle comfort you might seek from a diner, but I think it’s a nice little place with good things to offer.

OVERALL

It’s a fine diner. Nothing fancy. No frills. Pretty unremarkable in every sense. This is my second time coming here and it hasn’t quite impressed me either time. That being said, it’s still good. It’s not as good as some of the best diners we’ve been to, but it’s much better than the worst. Unfortunately, that leaves it in the kinda forgettable middle. I had a great sandwich, and great service, and the prices were fair, but unfortunately, unless I go back to read this post, I probably won’t remember anything that stood out about this experience. Good, but forgettable.