Matthews’ Diner & Pancake House
Visited Friday, February 8, 2019
Location: 430 South Washington Avenue, Bergenfield, NJ
Hours: Sun.–Thu., 6 a.m.–12 a.m.; Fri.–Sat., 6 a.m.–1 a.m.
This is our second visit to a “pancake house,” and our first was particularly inauspicious. Is the problem that we should’ve ordered breakfast? Maybe. If so, is the solution to order breakfast this time around? Again, maybe, though we’ll never know because hey surprise we each got a sandwich. So much for pancakes.
BUD |
DAN |
Main DishSloppy Joe Not two months ago, you couldn’t convince me to eat the glorified chili-on-a-bun that is a sloppy joe. But State Street Grill taught me that here in Jersey, the joes aren’t that sloppy at all. In fact, they’re just kind of an overstuffed deli sandwich. And in the process, dare I say, State Street Grill taught me something about myself. State Street’s Sloppy Joe™ still is the high-water mark for this less-sloppy version of the joe, and I don’t see any diner in these parts ever matching it. Matthews’ Diner put forth a fine enough effort for, ultimately, a generic sandwich. The meat and cheese here were too firm and insistent—nothing else seemed to make much of an appearance. Call me a glutton (or hey, just let Dan take care of that), but State Street did it right when they offered a cup of Russian dressing on the side to ensure you don’t lose that critical moisture and tang. Unfortunately, the sandwich here was lacking just that moisture and tang. Hardly bad but not a standout. |
Main DishTuscan Panini Danielle: “Hi yes, I’d like to order your most bland sandwich with bland toppings on a tasteless panini, please.” This is honest to god what happened. Except it was more like: Danielle: “Yes, could I please get the Tuscan Panini.” But the rest really happened. This was hands down the worst panini I ever had. Everything on paper sounded great. Grilled chicken, roasted peppers, and mozzarella? A solid combo that I’ve enjoyed many times before. Add on some spinach? SIGN ME UP! What I experienced was just an amalgamation of different flavors of bland put together on a panini. Like Bud’s sloppy joe, I really think some dressing or dip could have made a huge difference. Maybe some balsamic vinegar or some chipotle mayo or SOMETHING would have brought this sandwich to a whole new level, but there was nothing of the sort. Just boring, unseasoned, beige panini. |
FriesI feel like we’ve had a good run of fries lately. These were nice and crunchy without being cooked to death. |
FriesFries were ok. They were like the SUPER fried type that have some crazy crispy outer shell that I’m not crazy about. They were average, but the honey mustard was heinous. Stay away from whatever that concoction is. |
DessertBrownie Sundae We hit rock bottom with dessert last week and I hoped we could bounce back with a vengeance this time around. Matthews’ dessert options were surprisingly scarce: sure, a wide variety of pies and a handful of cakes, but otherwise just some diner cookies (?) and plain cheesecake (?!). I could’ve been persuaded to try a cookie, if only for the novelty and because the oversized diner cookie is iconic even if I don’t think I’ve ever seen somebody eat one. But Dan fancies herself, accurately or not, a cookie connoisseur, and I wasn’t going to insult her like that. All we really had left was the trusty brownie sundae. Dan gave the usual command—heat the brownie, add some vanilla ice cream, and absolutely ruin our lives with whipped cream—and it came back promptly, just as ordered. The waitress warned that this one had walnuts in it, which I think is a bonus for Dan and a malus (that’s the opposite of “bonus,” I learned later in life than I want to admit) for me, but played along just the same. Here’s the good news: they executed it nicely all around. The whipped cream was generous and the brownie was, in fact, hot (I swear that some of these places don’t even bother, or maybe the cook just like holds it in his closed hand for a minute like he’s trying to melt an M&M). But it failed in a regard that I find most important: very inadequate ratio of ice cream to brownie. With just a single scoop to share between the two of us, Dan and I were wrestling over it before long. A brownie uncut by vanilla ice cream is nearly as overwhelming as a slice of chocolate cake. Too much for me. |
DessertBrownie Sundae Cookies are my first love in life. I’d love to talk to you all about them. Not diner cookies, though. Those are an insult to cookies worldwide. No cookies. And I’m sorry but our last “plain cheesecake” experience was so bad, I just wasn’t ready to try again. As Bud said, it was down to ol’ reliable: brownie sundae. This is where I gotta disagree strongly with Buddy. Yes, there was only one scoop of ice cream, but that’s like half a burger off at MOST. This brownie was one of the hottest, fudgiest, most delectable chocolate concoctions I’ve had in a long time. As far as I’m concerned, I didn’t even need ice cream on that beauty AT ALL. Just give me more brownie! It was so good. I’m not sure if the tears I shed were from joy or from how piping hot the brownie was. |
ServiceWe experienced a pleasant little Burger Deluxe first: our waitress had a trainee in tow. At first he just hung aside and watched the pro at work—the waitress herself was capable and very sweet—but later in the evening he was let loose to deliver drinks and condiments on his own. At one point, when I asked for a drink refill during dessert, he asked if I wanted the drink to go. I thought that was a little overzealous—no, fella, I will have my Diet Coke at this table thanks—but it showed the kind of spunk and initiative that tells me this guy will succeed in a filthy cutthroat business like this one. |
ServiceI really liked our waitress. She was cute and spunky and hasn’t reached the part in her career in food service where she’s completely dead behind her eyes. This quality in a waitperson is very important to me. She was very accommodating with everything we asked for (including our usual request of absolutely destroying us with whipped cream on our dessert). The trainee was a sweet young man too. I enjoyed their hard work and ability to maintain an upbeat attitude in what is possibly one of the most stressful jobs out there. |
ValueMy sloppy joe clocked in at a respectable $11.95, but the real star here was the dessert. The brownie was billed at $2.50, with an extra $1.50 tagged on for the ice cream. Four dollars for a dessert for two is a fine deal, in my experience. I also note that I was not charged for my second soft drink, but I again negligently failed to observe whether they had an unlimited-refills policy or just the one free. I’ll do better next time, I swear. |
ValueConceptually, I have to agree that $4.00 for a dessert for two is quite a deal, but charging $1.50 for one scoop of ice cream seems a little criminal. I just bought TWO gallons of Friendly’s ice cream for four dollars. Bud, you were there, back me up. Two gallons for $4.00…$1.50 for one scoop. You see what I’m getting at here? RIPOFF. Anyway, my Tuscan panini was $11.25. Obviously I don’t feel like it was quite worth this price, but that is a decision to be made by the Invisible Hand of Adam Smith’s creation to decide and not me. Hopefully said Invisible Hand will either work to drive down the price of that panini, or slap the next customer in the face when they try to order it. |
AmbienceUsually my assessment of a diner’s ambience is restricted to just the interior décor, but I found Matthews’ particularly cozy from the outside-in. It’s situated on a busy street, with bright storefronts and headlights and speedy traffic, and something about crossing the threshold from the noisy, chilly outdoors into the old-fashioned diner made for a real pleasant transition. I’d place Matthews’ squarely in the “classic” category—with stained-glass panels and oversized chandeliers, there’s nothing sleek or minimalist about it—but it really hit the spot. |
AmbienceI’m going to say it: I didn’t like it. Nothing about this diner made me feel cozy and warm. Considering this diner boasts “pancake house” in its name, it had none of the charm and bright ambiance of an IHOP. The lighting was dim. The tables were a bit tight. You know what it reminded me of? Like a movie director says, “Ok, Jacob and Bella need to have a vampire diner experience—find me a place that’s dim and looks like one of those diners that’s been around for 100 years and shows it.” It reminded me of one of THOSE diners. You know what I’m talking about. |
OVERALLMatthews’ is a solid diner. I didn’t see anything about it that particularly excelled, but I enjoyed the food and the service and found the setting comfortable. This is one of those places that bills itself as a pancake house, so maybe it would be fair to do a return visit and sample from the breakfast menu. |
OVERALLEhh. Overall, I wasn’t impressed. Considering the establishment had “pancake house” in its name, I was really expecting a LOT more when it came to pancake selection. They had, like—short stack, blueberry, ummm banana. THAT’S IT. That’s like going to Danielle’s House of Burgers and the menu lists “Burger, Cheese Burger, Bacon on Burger. Pickles and coleslaw upon request.” I wanted a menu to absolutely overwhelm me with pancake options. The menu wasn’t the only thing that underwhelmed me, the disappointment should be split with my entrée as well. If I wanted something on my plate that was THAT bland and dry, I’d just put a picture of my face on it. |